I believe that sometimes we can feel burdened by all of the physical possessions that we have. And people, I have a lot of stuff. Crap, actually. Junk, even.
During the Christmas break, I went through my bedroom closet and purged 8 trash bags - some was trash, some was Goodwill donations and one bag was consignment. It felt good to clear that crap out. I had a shirt that was 20 years old and I probably haven't worn it in like 10 years. Why do I have it?
My sister is on her way to visit for the weekend. My guest room hasn't been used for guests in a while, so it had become a crap repository. Christmas crap, bag of books to sell at Half Price Books, and empty gift bags and tissue paper. I cleaned out this guest room closet - I got about 3 trash bags full of stuff. I went through a soap making phase..... and a phase where I put buttons on EVERYTHING. All of it - now GONE.
With each bag I dump, I feel a little lighter. I like throwing stuff away - it's like a little high each time I filled a bag. It's kind of addictive....
My next project is to clean out my drawers, but that may have to wait for Spring Break. By the end of the year, I'm hoping to have shed all of my extra crap so that whatever life has in store for me, I'm ready.
Stay happy - and start purging all of your crap - physical and mental!
:) Mo
Showing posts with label In my head. Show all posts
Showing posts with label In my head. Show all posts
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Appreciation - what a novel concept!!
According to dictionary.com, appreciation means "gratitude, thankful recognition." Appreciation is such a simple act and it can mean so much.
When I was a teacher, I really liked when my principal did little acts of appreciation for us - a jeans pass, a kind note, a treat in our box, or a shoutout at a staff meeting. Some bosses did a better job of it than others. But when you don't feel appreciated, a little shot in the arm can be just what you need to get you over the hurdle.
Once I became an assistant principal, I wanted to show appreciation to my teachers. I tried to leave handwritten notes to teachers after I did their evaluation or find ways to give them a shout out for their hard work. I enjoyed doing it and it did seem to make a difference with the morale of the staff.
As I moved into a principal role, I still tried to show my appreciation for my staff. It's a little more difficult with all of the demands, but I see it as more important now than ever. Teachers are overworked and underpaid, so anything I can do to make them feel appreciated is helpful.
I'm blessed that I worked with a staff that shows their appreciation of me on almost a daily basis. I find little goodies on my desk (treats, a Coke) and many of them write me notes or tell me they appreciate me. They always spoil me on Boss's Day. It's nice. And it helps me keep fighting the fight on their behalf and for their benefit.
However, beyond my campus, there is little appreciation for what I do. Instead, it feels like more work is dumped on me or my role is to help others complete their to-do list no matter what it does to my to-do list. Instead of hearing what I do right or well, I hear what I haven't done or done well or done enough. Sometimes I'm down and then I feel like I'm kicked when I'm down. It's disheartening. I just wish that I might get a call or a compliment. Even a call asking what I might need.
What I've learned about myself is that I need appreciation. I need recognition for a job done well. I don't need a parade or a key to the city, but I need to know that others see my hard work and appreciate the sacrifices that I make. I know that I'm 42, I should be able to find my own intrensic validation, but I can't. There. It's out there now......
So do I seek the appreciation I need (and sometimes deserve)? Or do I appreciate the appreciation that I do receive from my staff and have that be enough?
The one thing I do know is that I need to appreciate my staff more and better. They deserve the best I have EVERY day.
Staying happy means sometimes looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing and accepting ALL of you (even maybe the more needy and less attractive parts).
Stay happy!
:) Mo
When I was a teacher, I really liked when my principal did little acts of appreciation for us - a jeans pass, a kind note, a treat in our box, or a shoutout at a staff meeting. Some bosses did a better job of it than others. But when you don't feel appreciated, a little shot in the arm can be just what you need to get you over the hurdle.
Once I became an assistant principal, I wanted to show appreciation to my teachers. I tried to leave handwritten notes to teachers after I did their evaluation or find ways to give them a shout out for their hard work. I enjoyed doing it and it did seem to make a difference with the morale of the staff.
As I moved into a principal role, I still tried to show my appreciation for my staff. It's a little more difficult with all of the demands, but I see it as more important now than ever. Teachers are overworked and underpaid, so anything I can do to make them feel appreciated is helpful.
I'm blessed that I worked with a staff that shows their appreciation of me on almost a daily basis. I find little goodies on my desk (treats, a Coke) and many of them write me notes or tell me they appreciate me. They always spoil me on Boss's Day. It's nice. And it helps me keep fighting the fight on their behalf and for their benefit.
However, beyond my campus, there is little appreciation for what I do. Instead, it feels like more work is dumped on me or my role is to help others complete their to-do list no matter what it does to my to-do list. Instead of hearing what I do right or well, I hear what I haven't done or done well or done enough. Sometimes I'm down and then I feel like I'm kicked when I'm down. It's disheartening. I just wish that I might get a call or a compliment. Even a call asking what I might need.
What I've learned about myself is that I need appreciation. I need recognition for a job done well. I don't need a parade or a key to the city, but I need to know that others see my hard work and appreciate the sacrifices that I make. I know that I'm 42, I should be able to find my own intrensic validation, but I can't. There. It's out there now......
So do I seek the appreciation I need (and sometimes deserve)? Or do I appreciate the appreciation that I do receive from my staff and have that be enough?
The one thing I do know is that I need to appreciate my staff more and better. They deserve the best I have EVERY day.
Staying happy means sometimes looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing and accepting ALL of you (even maybe the more needy and less attractive parts).
Stay happy!
:) Mo
Sunday, December 30, 2012
I'm back!!!
Okay, it's been 18 months since I blogged. But you know what? I am BACK!!
I'm going to spend the next couple of days cleaning out the blog, dusting off the cobwebs, updating some pictures, books and movies..... maybe a new design.......
2013 is my year, dammit! 2012 has kicked my ass, both personally and professionally. I am ending 2012 unhappy with my personal life, disillusioned and unappreciated in my professional life...
And you know what? 2013 me is not going to be friendly and sweet - I am going to be brutally honest and real. Some people may not like it, but they can kiss my ass. (Or just don't read this blog - no one is making you come here!)
And one year from today, December 30, 2013 - I will be happier and healthier, living where I want and doing what I want. Mark my words......
I'm going to spend the next couple of days cleaning out the blog, dusting off the cobwebs, updating some pictures, books and movies..... maybe a new design.......
2013 is my year, dammit! 2012 has kicked my ass, both personally and professionally. I am ending 2012 unhappy with my personal life, disillusioned and unappreciated in my professional life...
And you know what? 2013 me is not going to be friendly and sweet - I am going to be brutally honest and real. Some people may not like it, but they can kiss my ass. (Or just don't read this blog - no one is making you come here!)
And one year from today, December 30, 2013 - I will be happier and healthier, living where I want and doing what I want. Mark my words......
Saturday, February 26, 2011
What the hell is going on in education?
I've been watching the news and reading the papers daily. The budgetary crisis faced by the Texas legislature is about to seriously impact education in Texas. And that is some scary stuff. We are talking furlough days, closing schools, cutting salaries and RIFfing (reduction in force) teachers. I don't know the actual impact in my current district (they are still trying to figure it out), but I can imagine it's going to be a much different picture next year than it is this year.
I began my career in education in 1992 and I have never seen anything like this in the 20 years I've been an educator. I thought I was in a career that was untouchable because there are always children that need to be taught. Now I'm nervous and I have constant headaches, neckpain, and stomach aches as I watch what is unravelling around me. What does it mean to me? What does it mean to the teachers at my school? What does it mean to the children at my school?
And it's not just Texas. I heard on the news today that the school district that serves Providence, RI is laying off ALL 2000 teachers to maximize cuts. They will more than likely bring some back (Ed.'s Note: WTF? Aren't there still school aged children in Providence, Rhode Island?), but this will allow them to make the cuts needed.
Don't forget about our friends in Wisconsin..... teachers there had massive "sick-ins" to skip school so they could go protest the possible dissolution of collective bargaining in that state. They had a conference day off to attend professional development, but most chose to go to the capital and protest. The governor wants to dissolve collective bargaining because of the costs to the already financially troubled state.
What does this do to teacher morale and productivity?
And most importantly, what are we doing to our kids?
I began my career in education in 1992 and I have never seen anything like this in the 20 years I've been an educator. I thought I was in a career that was untouchable because there are always children that need to be taught. Now I'm nervous and I have constant headaches, neckpain, and stomach aches as I watch what is unravelling around me. What does it mean to me? What does it mean to the teachers at my school? What does it mean to the children at my school?
And it's not just Texas. I heard on the news today that the school district that serves Providence, RI is laying off ALL 2000 teachers to maximize cuts. They will more than likely bring some back (Ed.'s Note: WTF? Aren't there still school aged children in Providence, Rhode Island?), but this will allow them to make the cuts needed.
Don't forget about our friends in Wisconsin..... teachers there had massive "sick-ins" to skip school so they could go protest the possible dissolution of collective bargaining in that state. They had a conference day off to attend professional development, but most chose to go to the capital and protest. The governor wants to dissolve collective bargaining because of the costs to the already financially troubled state.
What does this do to teacher morale and productivity?
And most importantly, what are we doing to our kids?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Random Friday Thoughts
Okay, so it's October. The start of Fall. That makes me happy. So here's the random thoughts going through my head tonight:
- I bought a new car!! A 2010 Honda CRV EX-L!! It's gorgeous and new and clean. I will miss dear Jiggablue who gave me 8 years of service. I got a little choked up leaving her at the dealership. That is until I got in my new car, opened the sun roof, cranked the tunes and headed out on the highway!
- XM Radio is good. I can listen to all 80's hosted by the MTV VJ's (Anita Blackwood, Martha Quinn, Alan Hunter, Mark Goodman) from my time period. I also get Howard Stern. It's been a long time since Howard........
- Want to know how to paralyze a town of 8,000 people? Me, too!! Tonight I wanted to run out for dinner and the whole town was in a gridlock. I drove through several areas, but never saw anything that looked like it would cause such major gridlock..... can't wait to hear what the hold up was!! A cow or a tractor, maybe?
- So there is a new show on A&E where Tony Danza is a high school teacher in Philly. Seriously? He's 60 years old and now he'd like to teach? He does have an education degree.... but wow! I've Tivoed this and will have to report back with my thoughts!
- My Tivo is almost full and I have no idea when or how I can watch all of these shows..... where the helll did they come from?
- Maude has this new game where she goes near the window of another apartment that has a collie (named Lassie, I shit you not) so that Lassie sees her and then gets all riled up, barking and jumping at the window like a crazed beast.... she then barks more (I swear, she's taunting) and continues to drive the dog crazy. How does she know to do this? (Ed.'s Note: And when did we become so much alike?)
- I go home to Dallas for the weekend in three weeks! But I'm already making plans and looking forward to catching up with people.
- Four weeks from today I will be in Hot Springs at my sanctuary Bartee Meadow. I can't wait to get away. Peace, shopping, eating, sleep, laughing.... just what the doctor ordered.
- I want to go to a movie this weekend. Here's what I'm mulling around in my head: "The Town," "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps," "The Social Network," or "Waiting for Superman." Any suggestions? Except for Wall Street, the rest involve a trip into Austin.... not a problem with my new ride!!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Alone vs. Lonely
So tonight, I've sat on the couch, drank wine, and read my book. I paused to consider the concept of alone vs. lonely.
If you'll indulge my inner nerd for a moment, alone means: separate, apart, or isolated from others. Lonely means: lone; solitary; without company; companionless or standing apart; isolated. If you look at it that way, they mean pretty much the same thing: isolated and apart.
I've been alone for a long time now. I've lived alone for 11 years. Why? Because I don't want anyone that close to me. I don't want to be hurt. I'm scared of rejection. Some people chose to take the risk and it works out for them, I choose not to. I like my space. I like my order, my way of doing things. I don't ever see myself having a relationship, moving in with someone or getting married. I know I'll die alone. I'm okay with that.
When I lived in Frisco, there would be times I would be lonely. Spending holidays by myself or sometimes wanting to go out to dinner or do something, but not willing to do it alone. Those moments were few and far between though. I had a pretty busy social life, so when I was at home, I was thankful for the peace and quiet.
Since I've moved to Bastrop, I've been lonely a lot more often. I have no friends. I have no social life. I work and I come home. It's like Groundhog Day, over and over. I miss having my sushi friend, my movie friend, my musical friend, etc. I had a great network of people that kept me busy. Now, no one. Nothing. I spend most nights by myself, watching TV or reading.
I'm lonely. And I'm not sure how to get out of it.
This was the one thing that worried me the most about taking this job. I knew I could handle the work part easily. But I was worried that at 40, being single, and Bastrop being a small town, that I would lose the social life and network I've worked so hard to build the 8 years I was in Frisco. Everyone I trusted told me not to worry, I'll make friends and be just as busy as I was in Frisco. (Ed.'s Note: Next time I should listen to my gut more. I'm just saying.)
So, I'm trying hard to really focus on my "lonely" time and turning it into "alone" time. I'm reading more, scrapbooking a bit, looking at planning a trip to take by myself, starting classes at Texas State for my Ph.D. I'm getting more comfortable going out to eat and to movies by myself. I'm trying to build a life that if I never am able to connect and make friends, that I have something for me to do besides sit at home.
So maybe I can go back to just being alone and quit being lonely.
If you'll indulge my inner nerd for a moment, alone means: separate, apart, or isolated from others. Lonely means: lone; solitary; without company; companionless or standing apart; isolated. If you look at it that way, they mean pretty much the same thing: isolated and apart.
I've been alone for a long time now. I've lived alone for 11 years. Why? Because I don't want anyone that close to me. I don't want to be hurt. I'm scared of rejection. Some people chose to take the risk and it works out for them, I choose not to. I like my space. I like my order, my way of doing things. I don't ever see myself having a relationship, moving in with someone or getting married. I know I'll die alone. I'm okay with that.
When I lived in Frisco, there would be times I would be lonely. Spending holidays by myself or sometimes wanting to go out to dinner or do something, but not willing to do it alone. Those moments were few and far between though. I had a pretty busy social life, so when I was at home, I was thankful for the peace and quiet.
Since I've moved to Bastrop, I've been lonely a lot more often. I have no friends. I have no social life. I work and I come home. It's like Groundhog Day, over and over. I miss having my sushi friend, my movie friend, my musical friend, etc. I had a great network of people that kept me busy. Now, no one. Nothing. I spend most nights by myself, watching TV or reading.
I'm lonely. And I'm not sure how to get out of it.
This was the one thing that worried me the most about taking this job. I knew I could handle the work part easily. But I was worried that at 40, being single, and Bastrop being a small town, that I would lose the social life and network I've worked so hard to build the 8 years I was in Frisco. Everyone I trusted told me not to worry, I'll make friends and be just as busy as I was in Frisco. (Ed.'s Note: Next time I should listen to my gut more. I'm just saying.)
So, I'm trying hard to really focus on my "lonely" time and turning it into "alone" time. I'm reading more, scrapbooking a bit, looking at planning a trip to take by myself, starting classes at Texas State for my Ph.D. I'm getting more comfortable going out to eat and to movies by myself. I'm trying to build a life that if I never am able to connect and make friends, that I have something for me to do besides sit at home.
So maybe I can go back to just being alone and quit being lonely.
Monday, September 6, 2010
I'm baaaackkkkkkk!!!!!
Were you wondering if I fell off the face of the Earth?
These past 5 weeks have been intense and crazy!! Finally, school has started and we've got teachers and students settled (at least I think). I've had friends and family come and visit. I've learned more about my town and am ready to start getting out and exploring the other communities close by.
My life has been much quieter since moving to Bastrop. I don't have as many friends locally, so I've been spending some time by myself. And it's been good. I've been doing some thinking. I've been trying to work through some of the hurt and anger I've been feeling. I've learned who my true, real friends are and I'm thankful for them. I think I appreciate them much more than I may have in the past. Instead of focusing on the hurt, I've tried to let go. I've started making goals for short and long term. This move changed a few of my goals, so it's been to good to think about them and how they have evolved.
Even though it's September, it's like a new year for me. Here are some of my goals:
1. Get out and explore.... Smithville, Elgin, Luling, Lockhart, Austin, Round Rock, Johnson City, Fredericksburg.....
2. Sign up for superintendency certifications at Texas State. I'm not going to be a principal forever.
3. Buy a new car - I LOVE having no car payments, but I'm not sure how much longer little Jiggablue is gonna go. I'm not sure what I want, I think a Honda CRV or a Ford Edge. Must go look and make some decisions.
4. Full physical - while I've got my glaucoma under control and I've ruled out bad cholesterol and diabetes, I need to check my heart and lose weight.
5. Get out and volunteer, meet people, and get involved in the community.
6. Stay open to all opportunities, even ones that I might not have considered six months ago.
This move has been a great way to stop and look at my life and make changes. My life is just one big change right now. No complacency allowed!!
If you could make one big change in your life, what would it be? Who would you become? What would you do differently?
These past 5 weeks have been intense and crazy!! Finally, school has started and we've got teachers and students settled (at least I think). I've had friends and family come and visit. I've learned more about my town and am ready to start getting out and exploring the other communities close by.
My life has been much quieter since moving to Bastrop. I don't have as many friends locally, so I've been spending some time by myself. And it's been good. I've been doing some thinking. I've been trying to work through some of the hurt and anger I've been feeling. I've learned who my true, real friends are and I'm thankful for them. I think I appreciate them much more than I may have in the past. Instead of focusing on the hurt, I've tried to let go. I've started making goals for short and long term. This move changed a few of my goals, so it's been to good to think about them and how they have evolved.
Even though it's September, it's like a new year for me. Here are some of my goals:
1. Get out and explore.... Smithville, Elgin, Luling, Lockhart, Austin, Round Rock, Johnson City, Fredericksburg.....
2. Sign up for superintendency certifications at Texas State. I'm not going to be a principal forever.
3. Buy a new car - I LOVE having no car payments, but I'm not sure how much longer little Jiggablue is gonna go. I'm not sure what I want, I think a Honda CRV or a Ford Edge. Must go look and make some decisions.
4. Full physical - while I've got my glaucoma under control and I've ruled out bad cholesterol and diabetes, I need to check my heart and lose weight.
5. Get out and volunteer, meet people, and get involved in the community.
6. Stay open to all opportunities, even ones that I might not have considered six months ago.
This move has been a great way to stop and look at my life and make changes. My life is just one big change right now. No complacency allowed!!
If you could make one big change in your life, what would it be? Who would you become? What would you do differently?
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The Benefits of Blogging
I've been blogging for almost 2.5 years and I enjoy it. I have a little following that likes to read and I get comments now again (though I get more comments face to face than I ever get on here!).
I've had some distinct advantages to have a blog:
1. I wrote about a book I read by the author Katherine Center. Since then, I've gotten to see her in person, read her two other books (LOVED THEM!) and have become her Facebook friend. I've learned a lot about the writing process from her and I hope that maybe it will give me the courage to pursue my dream to write a book of my own.
2. I blogged about my excitement (7 weeks from today I will be there!!) about going to NYC for my 40th B-Day girls trip! I can't wait to do the Sex and the City tour, so I blogged about it. They read and my group got a 20% discount code for our tix. I'm still bummed that they wouldn't swing for the $30 b-day chest in trade for me to blog about how awesome the tour is after I've done it.
3. You've read about my Alzheimer's Night Out a few months ago, right? Well, a reader (and one of my very dear friend's father) sent me a bootleg copy of Valentine's Day so I could see the end. Isn't that awesome? I got to see it and I loved it!! So thank you very much, FS, for reading the blog and answering my burning questions about the movie!!
I've had a few disappointments too:
1. OPRAH - For the love of all that is good in this world, I want to be on your show. I even signed a "No Phone Zone" pledge despite the fact that my drive to work is my most productive time on the phone. PLEASE get me tickets. I'm starting to lose my faith in you. Don't make me give up on you.
2. Kevin Bacon Project - I heard that Kevin has Google alerts for his name, so I challenged him to leave me a comment on my blog, but to no avail. Bummer.........
But, I'm always thinking ahead.... looking ahead... what else can I get going on here?
1. Jen Lancaster, if you are out there, please read my blog and leave me a comment. I want to be a writer just like you (but write about my own crazy life).
2. OPRAH - Again, c'mon, sister. What do I have to do?
3. Anyone related to the musical "Rock of Ages" - can you get us backstage for my b-day trip? I want pictures and autographs with the cast. Somehow I feel that sitting on the third row and possible getting spritzed by Constantine's sweat may not be enough for me to experience.
4. Free shit - anyone got any? I want some.......
So I guess I'll keep this blog up and going and we'll see what happens.... Please leave me some comments and ideas about what I can do to make my wishes become reality!!
I've had some distinct advantages to have a blog:
1. I wrote about a book I read by the author Katherine Center. Since then, I've gotten to see her in person, read her two other books (LOVED THEM!) and have become her Facebook friend. I've learned a lot about the writing process from her and I hope that maybe it will give me the courage to pursue my dream to write a book of my own.
2. I blogged about my excitement (7 weeks from today I will be there!!) about going to NYC for my 40th B-Day girls trip! I can't wait to do the Sex and the City tour, so I blogged about it. They read and my group got a 20% discount code for our tix. I'm still bummed that they wouldn't swing for the $30 b-day chest in trade for me to blog about how awesome the tour is after I've done it.
3. You've read about my Alzheimer's Night Out a few months ago, right? Well, a reader (and one of my very dear friend's father) sent me a bootleg copy of Valentine's Day so I could see the end. Isn't that awesome? I got to see it and I loved it!! So thank you very much, FS, for reading the blog and answering my burning questions about the movie!!
I've had a few disappointments too:
1. OPRAH - For the love of all that is good in this world, I want to be on your show. I even signed a "No Phone Zone" pledge despite the fact that my drive to work is my most productive time on the phone. PLEASE get me tickets. I'm starting to lose my faith in you. Don't make me give up on you.
2. Kevin Bacon Project - I heard that Kevin has Google alerts for his name, so I challenged him to leave me a comment on my blog, but to no avail. Bummer.........
But, I'm always thinking ahead.... looking ahead... what else can I get going on here?
1. Jen Lancaster, if you are out there, please read my blog and leave me a comment. I want to be a writer just like you (but write about my own crazy life).
2. OPRAH - Again, c'mon, sister. What do I have to do?
3. Anyone related to the musical "Rock of Ages" - can you get us backstage for my b-day trip? I want pictures and autographs with the cast. Somehow I feel that sitting on the third row and possible getting spritzed by Constantine's sweat may not be enough for me to experience.
4. Free shit - anyone got any? I want some.......
So I guess I'll keep this blog up and going and we'll see what happens.... Please leave me some comments and ideas about what I can do to make my wishes become reality!!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
All this for a rash?!?!?!!?
I've had a rash for the last couple of weeks, it comes and goes. So finally I decide that I'm going to the doctor to have it checked out. (Ed.'s Note: I didn't think people over the age of 3 developed rashes. News flash - we do!! I'm telling you, the closer I get to 40.... don't kick the tires, something may fall off!!!) So I leave school a bit early and head for the dermatologist.
It's a fungal rash. Ewwww.... gross!! She gives me some medicine for the fungal infection (that just sounds gross) and then a pill for when the itching bothers me. (She also biopsies a spot on my forehead.... please, please, please..... no skin cancer for me!!)
I'm in and out in 20 minutes, so I head to Kroger to fill my prescriptions. I catch up on the latest "In Touch" while I'm waiting. (In case you are curious: Jen & Brad are getting back together, Kim Kardashian is "hand that rocks the cradle"-ing her sister Kourtney's baby, and Gwen Stefani's kids looked like normal kids for Easter.) I get my meds and some Smart Ones and head home.
I have this peculiar habit of checking my meds online. Don't ask me why, I guess it's the OCD in me?!?! So my drug for the fungal infection, I look it up and it states that it is used "for fungal infections in people with severely compromised immune systems, like those with AIDS." Uh, okay..... I don't have AIDS. Right? I don't, I'm pretty sure. I haven't been sick in a while, so how can that be? Maybe she's just given me a really strong drug to knock it, so I should be happy.
Then I look up my medicine to help me not itch. It states that the drug is used "for the short-term treatment of nervousness and tension that may occur with certain mental/mood disorders, such as anxiety and dementia." Dementia, seriously? I check the prescription to make sure I got this from the dermatologist, not my therapist. So dementia and allergic itching are related? Well, call me demented and lock me up!!!!
Let's just pray that I'm a rash-free, non-tense, non-anxious, dementia-free girl come tomorrow. If not, I'm afraid I'm one step away from the commitment hearing!!! (crazy psycho laugh inserted here.... bwwwwahahahahahaahahaha!!!!)
It's a fungal rash. Ewwww.... gross!! She gives me some medicine for the fungal infection (that just sounds gross) and then a pill for when the itching bothers me. (She also biopsies a spot on my forehead.... please, please, please..... no skin cancer for me!!)
I'm in and out in 20 minutes, so I head to Kroger to fill my prescriptions. I catch up on the latest "In Touch" while I'm waiting. (In case you are curious: Jen & Brad are getting back together, Kim Kardashian is "hand that rocks the cradle"-ing her sister Kourtney's baby, and Gwen Stefani's kids looked like normal kids for Easter.) I get my meds and some Smart Ones and head home.
I have this peculiar habit of checking my meds online. Don't ask me why, I guess it's the OCD in me?!?! So my drug for the fungal infection, I look it up and it states that it is used "for fungal infections in people with severely compromised immune systems, like those with AIDS." Uh, okay..... I don't have AIDS. Right? I don't, I'm pretty sure. I haven't been sick in a while, so how can that be? Maybe she's just given me a really strong drug to knock it, so I should be happy.
Then I look up my medicine to help me not itch. It states that the drug is used "for the short-term treatment of nervousness and tension that may occur with certain mental/mood disorders, such as anxiety and dementia." Dementia, seriously? I check the prescription to make sure I got this from the dermatologist, not my therapist. So dementia and allergic itching are related? Well, call me demented and lock me up!!!!
Let's just pray that I'm a rash-free, non-tense, non-anxious, dementia-free girl come tomorrow. If not, I'm afraid I'm one step away from the commitment hearing!!! (crazy psycho laugh inserted here.... bwwwwahahahahahaahahaha!!!!)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Hey VH1, I found your next reality programming idea......
As many of you know, I am only a stone's throw from celebrity. My stepbrother hosts "The Bachelor".... but before you become too impressed, we don't really talk or see each other often. Our parents married when we were adults, so we aren't that close. BUT.... it's nice knowing that there is a connection out there......
So... the other day a friend from high school sent me an e-mail and asked if she wanted me to submit my high school senior year photo (one I took when UA had an open house and I then posted the picture on to Facebook) to be submitted with her picture for a Will Ferrell project. They are collecting high school yearbook pictures which will be used in the movie. (I'm guessing opening or closing credits, but am not sure.) So she submits our pictures and we now have to do a release, so who knows, I may have my own brush with celebrity.
Which led me to start thinking..... in case you didn't know, I'm a HUGE fan of VH1 Reality Programming (Celebrity Rehab, Sober House, Rock of Love, Charm School, Flavor of Love, Celebrity Fit Club, The Scott Baio shows, Tough Love, Tool Academy, Frank the Entertainer A Basement Affair.... I think you get the idea!!).
Maybe after I'm in Will's movie, VH1 may want me for my own reality show. But what would I do? Search for love? Lose weight? Kick an addiction?
I have a food addiction and need to lose weight, but I don't think that will bring people in. So it'll need to be a show about me finding Mr. Right (because some people believe in true love being found on reality TV!) and that we do live happily ever after.
Okay, so I've a premise for my show. I'll have 25 guys to choose from. I'll bring in my sister and maybe a friend or two to be my confidants about the guys. But what will I give the guys when I want them to stay? (Bachelor does roses, Flavor of Love does clocks, Rock of Love does passes, Frank gives necklaces..... what can I give?)
What is associated with me? What do people think of when they think of me?
I love to read. Books. A book - they can get a book. Or it could be a chapter. My tag line will be "Would you like to discover the next chapter with me?"
When they make it all the way to the end, it completes a book. I would say, "You complete my book. You are the co-author of my future."
(Ed.'s Note: I realize that this may be a little too cerebral for VH1. But work with me here.)
My show would be called "Book Of Love" for two reasons: One, I give books to the guys. Two, VH1 likes shows with similar titles (ie: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love). My theme song would be the ABC song, "Look of Love," where I would just change the lyrics. (Imagine me spinning around and smiling as you hear the lyrics, with lots of hot guys who want my book of love. "That's the book, that's the book.... the Book of Love!!" It's gonna be an instant hit..... click here so you can hear the song. C'mon, you know you want to.... Besides it's funnier that way!)
I need an agent. And a publicist. I've always wanted "people," but now I believe it's the time to get some.
And all I can say is if this takes off..........
Oprah who? Oprah will be begging me to be on her show!!!!!!!!
So... the other day a friend from high school sent me an e-mail and asked if she wanted me to submit my high school senior year photo (one I took when UA had an open house and I then posted the picture on to Facebook) to be submitted with her picture for a Will Ferrell project. They are collecting high school yearbook pictures which will be used in the movie. (I'm guessing opening or closing credits, but am not sure.) So she submits our pictures and we now have to do a release, so who knows, I may have my own brush with celebrity.
Which led me to start thinking..... in case you didn't know, I'm a HUGE fan of VH1 Reality Programming (Celebrity Rehab, Sober House, Rock of Love, Charm School, Flavor of Love, Celebrity Fit Club, The Scott Baio shows, Tough Love, Tool Academy, Frank the Entertainer A Basement Affair.... I think you get the idea!!).
Maybe after I'm in Will's movie, VH1 may want me for my own reality show. But what would I do? Search for love? Lose weight? Kick an addiction?
I have a food addiction and need to lose weight, but I don't think that will bring people in. So it'll need to be a show about me finding Mr. Right (because some people believe in true love being found on reality TV!) and that we do live happily ever after.
Okay, so I've a premise for my show. I'll have 25 guys to choose from. I'll bring in my sister and maybe a friend or two to be my confidants about the guys. But what will I give the guys when I want them to stay? (Bachelor does roses, Flavor of Love does clocks, Rock of Love does passes, Frank gives necklaces..... what can I give?)
What is associated with me? What do people think of when they think of me?
I love to read. Books. A book - they can get a book. Or it could be a chapter. My tag line will be "Would you like to discover the next chapter with me?"
When they make it all the way to the end, it completes a book. I would say, "You complete my book. You are the co-author of my future."
(Ed.'s Note: I realize that this may be a little too cerebral for VH1. But work with me here.)
My show would be called "Book Of Love" for two reasons: One, I give books to the guys. Two, VH1 likes shows with similar titles (ie: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love). My theme song would be the ABC song, "Look of Love," where I would just change the lyrics. (Imagine me spinning around and smiling as you hear the lyrics, with lots of hot guys who want my book of love. "That's the book, that's the book.... the Book of Love!!" It's gonna be an instant hit..... click here so you can hear the song. C'mon, you know you want to.... Besides it's funnier that way!)
I need an agent. And a publicist. I've always wanted "people," but now I believe it's the time to get some.
And all I can say is if this takes off..........
Oprah who? Oprah will be begging me to be on her show!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Me and My Big Mouth.......
I'm hoping I don't regret that I told my good friend to make sure no one does anything for my 40th birthday. I hate surprises and get really embarrassed. I need a head's up. The absolute worst thing that could happen is me showing up somewhere and everyone is there to surprise me. I wouldn't like it and I'd act like an ass about it. (How do I know? I've done it before!) We are doing a girls trip to NYC, which I cannot wait for.... June 16th can't get here quick enough!
I was a kid who worked hard to find out what I was getting for Christmas. I could act excited and surprised, but I never had to worry that my face would give away my disdain like I did if I didn't know what it was. You can tell what I'm thinking and feeling by taking one look at me - I don't hide my feelings well. So I told this friend to just make the day go away.
But then if no one don't do anything, will I be sad? I'll already be alone - how alone will I really feel if the day goes by with no acknowledgement? Am I setting myself up for disappointment?
Which is more important - get over my control issues and just go with it? Or just accept the day is gonna come and go without a big deal because I asked for it.....?
Hit me with your best shot.......
I was a kid who worked hard to find out what I was getting for Christmas. I could act excited and surprised, but I never had to worry that my face would give away my disdain like I did if I didn't know what it was. You can tell what I'm thinking and feeling by taking one look at me - I don't hide my feelings well. So I told this friend to just make the day go away.
But then if no one don't do anything, will I be sad? I'll already be alone - how alone will I really feel if the day goes by with no acknowledgement? Am I setting myself up for disappointment?
Which is more important - get over my control issues and just go with it? Or just accept the day is gonna come and go without a big deal because I asked for it.....?
Hit me with your best shot.......
Sunday, January 10, 2010
How Did I Get So Alone?
(Ed.'s note: The purpose of this post is not to ilicit sympathy or to get a bunch of comments stating this isn't true. This is how I feel, so it's valid. And if you don't want to deal with my feelings, then don't read this post.)
I don't have a best friend. It just hit me today. It makes me sad. 'Cause I'm a really good friend.
I had some really great news to share and no one to share it with.
Now I have friends, lots of them. Friends that I go to HH with, to the movies with, even travel with some of them. But I don't tell all of my friends everything, so to share this news would require lots of back story and time. In the past, I had a friend or two who knew everything that is going on in my life and I could just call and fill them in quick.
How did I get to this place? I'm not sure I know. Most of my friends are married and have kids. I understand that there priority is their family. I wouldn't want it any other way. I've seen what happens with kids when they are not the priority. But many of my married friends always seem to find time for dinner or a movie or just some time to catch up. I hate when someone gets married and they end ties with all of their single friends, replacing them with their husband and other married couples - these being the same people who before they were married swore they would never become one of those people....
In the past, many of my friends came from the work place. Now that I'm the boss, it makes it difficult to have friendships with people that work for you. It's hard, so not everyone can do it. But even then, work becomes a big part of the conversation and you can't always discuss those topics when you are the boss. I'm trying to reach out and build relationships with other administrators at work, but again, so many of them are in different places in their lives, it doesn't lend to much more than a casual acquaintance.
Chicago and I talk about this a lot, he's 40+ and single, so he can relate. He's always telling me to be my own best friend. And I agree. And I am. And like I told him this morning when I shared my news, sometimes it just feels nice to have someone (besides you) tell you that you did good, that you are awesome, that you are valued. He tells me that I need to learn to enjoy being alone with myself. I told him I go to musicals, lunch, travel by myself, so that's not a problem. But I also told him that sometimes I just get sick of myself!! With the exception of a fabulous dinner/movie with friends last night, I've been alone with myself all weekend and I'm going crazy!!!
I guess you just have to take a moment and mourn. Feel the feelings and move on. Life changes, people come in and out of our lives for a reason.
So what am I going to do? For one, I'm going to take a shower, and treat myself to a nice lunch to celebrate. I'm gonna look in the mirror and tell myself that I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me (just not as a best friend!).
Maybe Sheldon is on to something...........
I don't have a best friend. It just hit me today. It makes me sad. 'Cause I'm a really good friend.
I had some really great news to share and no one to share it with.
Now I have friends, lots of them. Friends that I go to HH with, to the movies with, even travel with some of them. But I don't tell all of my friends everything, so to share this news would require lots of back story and time. In the past, I had a friend or two who knew everything that is going on in my life and I could just call and fill them in quick.
How did I get to this place? I'm not sure I know. Most of my friends are married and have kids. I understand that there priority is their family. I wouldn't want it any other way. I've seen what happens with kids when they are not the priority. But many of my married friends always seem to find time for dinner or a movie or just some time to catch up. I hate when someone gets married and they end ties with all of their single friends, replacing them with their husband and other married couples - these being the same people who before they were married swore they would never become one of those people....
In the past, many of my friends came from the work place. Now that I'm the boss, it makes it difficult to have friendships with people that work for you. It's hard, so not everyone can do it. But even then, work becomes a big part of the conversation and you can't always discuss those topics when you are the boss. I'm trying to reach out and build relationships with other administrators at work, but again, so many of them are in different places in their lives, it doesn't lend to much more than a casual acquaintance.
Chicago and I talk about this a lot, he's 40+ and single, so he can relate. He's always telling me to be my own best friend. And I agree. And I am. And like I told him this morning when I shared my news, sometimes it just feels nice to have someone (besides you) tell you that you did good, that you are awesome, that you are valued. He tells me that I need to learn to enjoy being alone with myself. I told him I go to musicals, lunch, travel by myself, so that's not a problem. But I also told him that sometimes I just get sick of myself!! With the exception of a fabulous dinner/movie with friends last night, I've been alone with myself all weekend and I'm going crazy!!!
I guess you just have to take a moment and mourn. Feel the feelings and move on. Life changes, people come in and out of our lives for a reason.
So what am I going to do? For one, I'm going to take a shower, and treat myself to a nice lunch to celebrate. I'm gonna look in the mirror and tell myself that I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me (just not as a best friend!).
Maybe Sheldon is on to something...........
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