Saturday, April 25, 2009

RIP, Bea Arthur!!

Bea Arthur has died!! I'm very sad!! She was an incredibly talented woman who I admired greatly. I loved her show Maude so much I named my dog after her.

In honor of Bea, I have some of my favorite clips to share:



This is Bea doing a "Sex and the City" spoof that is hysterical - the sound is bad, so turn it up!!



Bea and Rock Hudson singing.......

I haven't been able to find the Maude theme song clip again... I will keep looking!!

Rest in Peace, Bea - you will be missed!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Rats in the Land of Milk and Honey..... ah, the blasphemy!!!


I live in Frisco - where almost everything is less than 10 years old. It's nice to have so many new clean places to go. But apparently there's a price to pay for this newness......
RATS!!
Let me explain..... last December, I had to get a new radiator for my car - while working on it, they noticed some rodent droppings in the engine and said it's common for that to happen in the cold winter months. I was totally grossed out!!
So yesterday morning, I wake up and do my morning routine. I leave for work, get in my car, and am greeted with the most FOUL smell!! Something has died in my car, I have determined...... I drive to work, knowing I'll stop by the car place on the way home.
I leave work and head to the car place, explaining my situation and my concern. They take my car and look under the hood and check it out. Here is the conversation that ensued:
Billy Bob (missing teeth, but has one hot handlebar mustache): You park your car near a pee-can tree?
Mo: Yes, why?
BB: Looky here what I found under your hood! (holding up pecan shells)
Mo: How the hell did they get into there?
BB: Well, it appears that there was a rat living between your transmission and your engine. There's droppings and these here pee-can shells as evidence. He's not there now, he probably fell out when you started driving and his hair singed on the engine. You know that rats don't smell too good, dontcha?
Mo: Gross - I'm so disgusted by that!!
BB: It's real common here in Frisco - them are rats everywhere. They done ate the wiring under my hood while I parked my truck here at work. Everyone thinks Frisco is all nice and new, but them are rats everywhere!
Mo: So what do I do? Do my wires look chewed up?
BB: I checked all of your wiring and everything looks good. Well, you got you a dog?
Mo: Yes?
BB: Wear some knee high pantyhose for several days and don't wash them. Then collect some of your dog hair and put it in the hose. Tie it up, bring it here to me, and I'll put it under your hood. Them rats won't come near here if they smell dog.
Mo: Okay, uh, great... thanks! But what about the smell?
BB: You just gonna have to wait until the hair burns off and the smell goes away. It'll take a day or so, but if you smell it real bad, come right here, we might catch the rat in the engine.
Mo: Lovely.
So today as I'm driving to work, I almost wreck my car because I'm watching in the rear view mirror to see if a rat is gonna fall out! But the smell is almost gone, so I'm hoping that my rat adventure is over..... for now.......
Beware, fellow Frisco neighbors....

Sunday, April 19, 2009

"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane!!"

April 18 was a great day in my book!! Jimmy Buffett came to Pizza Hut Park and I got to see him for the first time in 9 years!! What a great concert!

Misty decided she wanted to go to this concert, so she gets tickets and invites me to go. Who am I to say no? She also invites Rhonda and Gina, two coworkers who are fun, so it is shaping up to be a good group. We have two extra tickets and keep looking for two more people - we end up not finding anyone and enjoy having an entire row to ourselves to spread out and relax and enjoy the music.

Thanks to FB, I've reconnected with many friends - one being Marilyn, who I went to high school and college with. She's a riot and hasn't changed a bit since Ursuline. We've been talking a lot and discovered that we were both going to be going to the Buffett concert. We decide to tailgate - I'm excited!!!

I have one problem - we have to work our job fair from 8:30-12:30 that day. But we get it all worked out and we are ready to go.

Rhonda, Gina, and I meet Marilyn and Kim at about 3:30 to begin tailgating. Kim and Marilyn have created a beatiful place to tailgate - tent, chairs, grill for some cheeseburgers, etc. It's lovely! We open up the food, cook some cheeseburgers, and have a few drinks. Misty joins us later, as does Tex, his fiance, and his future sis-in-law. It's a lot of fun!! The weather was perfect!

We head over to Pizza Hut park about 6:45 to get ready for the show. We spent 45+ minutes in line trying to get into the show. It was crazy - we missed the first two songs. We get settled, the sun sets, and we enjoy Buffett - singing along, standing up, sitting down, just relaxing.

We were seated on the corner - one aisle went down to the field, the other one didn't. People would come down the aisle, realize they couldn't get on the field, then cut across our section to get there. People in our section were getting mad, but they were also being asses about it. Two guys got into a fight and the mighty Frisco PD had to come and break it up. They keep trading barbs and it wasn't until like halfway through the show that all the assholes left and we could enjoy the music!

I heard the two songs I needed to be happy: "Fruitcakes" and "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes." After the concert, we headed to IHOP for a post-concert snack (us and like 50 other parrotheads!!) and then went home.

It was an awesome, yet exhausting day!! Long live Buffett!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Hoppy Easter to You!

So, today is Easter. Another holiday. You know how much I love holidays by now, don't you?

Easter is much like Christmas Eve for me. My sister goes with her husband's family, my mom goes with her husband's family, and who knows where my dad goes. So that leaves me alone. Not complaining or asking for pity, it just is what it is.

I'm religious and I believe Easter is an important holiday. Jesus died for my sins and he is resurrected on this day. We should celebrate. I don't go to church because I don't want to go alone. Heck, I don't want to go even if I had someone to go with. (Ed.'s note: Thanks, Ursuline! I owe that to you!)

The other thing about Easter is candy. Eggs. Kids running around crazy on sugar trying to find more sugar. I love candy - one look at me and you can see that. But I didn't buy any candy this year. I'm not going there. I work with kids all week and I just don't think I could handle the crazy kids needing candy thing today.

So what will I do on Easter? It's not exciting, but here it is:
  1. I will not get dressed up - I plan to wear sweat capris and a t-shirt the entire day. No Sunday best for me.
  2. I will not eat candy - unless I have an episode and I have to go buy a Reese's peanut butter egg - it could happen, but I'm not planning on it.
  3. I will eat alone - I'll make something yummy and enjoy it by myself. Hey, at least I don't have to share my wine if I eat alone.
  4. I'll have a peaceful day doing things that need to get done (bills, Tivo, some work, reading my book, napping, etc.)
  5. I'll finish "No Country for Old Men" - I've had that DVD for 13 months and just watched the first half last night. Good movie - why the hell have I waited for a year to watch it?

I hope you have a wonderful Easter!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Denis Leary and The Rescue Me Comedy Tour

Last night, Denis Leary came to the Nokia Theatre in Grand Prairie and I was there!!

Laura (my Rick Springfield/Def Leppard partner) and I grabbed a quick bite at BJ's before we headed to Grand Prairie. We get in and wait in line for 20 minutes for drinks! The place was packed and there were all kinds there to see Denis.

We get settled - we had good seats with a nice clear view of the stage. They start off with showing a video montage about The Leary Firefighters Foundation and "Rescue Me" - which is one of my favorite shows on TV.

Denis and his band, The Enablers, come out to perform two songs - one is "In The Rehab" and another is supposed to be a happy upbeat song. However, it's a laundry list of f-yous, and other slurs done to a peppy Jamaican beat. It was hysterical.

Denis then does his show. He has pictures of Dr. Phil, the Octomom, Brangelina, Willem Dafoe, him in a dress and he talks about all of this. He is so funny and irreverent!!

He then introduces some comics that he has brought with him... Lenny Clark and Adam Ferrera, who are both on the show. There was another guy who will be on a couple of episodes this season as well.

Denis came back with his band and closed with my favorite song, "Asshole." It was a great concert, lots of music, lots of laughs...... great way to begin a three-day weekend!