Sunday, February 28, 2010

See what happens when you go off the Weight Watchers plan?

So this morning I decide I'm going to make some waffles for breakfast with my awesome new waffle maker. (Ed.'s note: These waffles are not WW friendly waffles, but I don't care. It's the perfect way to end my bender of a week before weigh in tomorrow.)

I plug in the waffle maker so it can heat up. I measure out the Bisquick (heart healthy Bisquick at least), put in the oil and the egg. Now I need to add some milk. I have a little bit of milk left in my container, so I use that and then I go to open my new container of milk. It's got the little ring that you have to pull off so you can twist open the lid. I grab a knife (just a plain butter knife) and start to use it to dig in......

..... (are you already getting an idea of where this is going?)... my hand slips (I blame the eggs and oil) and the knife makes a swift deep cut across my middle finger and my pointer finger on my left hand. At first, you can't even see the cut.... then all of the sudden.... it's like a CSI crime scene.....

Blood squirts (seriously, squirts) from the cut.... on the counter, on my shirt, in the waffle mix.... all over the place. I start to get queasy as I don't do blood... I put my hand under the water in the sink and all it does is HURT!!

Okay, what am I supposed to do? I can't think, so I grab a towel, wrap my hand and hold it above my head. Pretty quick the towel is soaking through. I'm thinking do I need to go to the ER for stitches? (It's prolly too early for the quack shacks to be open! I also start to panic, I'm in my blood spattered nightgown, with no makeup, no bra, and my hair is sticking up every which way. How can I shower and get ready to go to the ER if I'm bleeding everywhere?)

I sit down, remove the bloody towel, and use damp paper towels.... the bleeding starts to slow down and I try to find band aids....... I eventually learn that the bleeding will stop as long as I don't bend my finger - do you realize how often you bend your fingers unknowingly?? Let me tell you.... A LOT!!

I'm sitting at the table, trying to think. I need to make a splint - that will keep my fingers from bending. I need sticks or something...... what can I use? A genius idea comes to me!! Weight Watchers Ice Cream sticks!!! For only 2 points, I can have two sticks that I can tape around my fingers so I don't bend. I hold my arm above my head while I eat the two ice cream treats (in lieu of my waffles) and fashion myself a splint. (Ed.'s note: Not once did I ever think about just getting the sticks and trashing the ice cream - what a waste of ice cream treats!?!?!)

It works!! As long as I don't bend my fingers, no bleeding!!

And instead of using a glutton of points for waffles and syrup, I had two 1 point ice creams for breakfast.....

What lesson did I learn? Cooking sucks..... let's eat ice cream for breakfast!!

4 comments:

Keelie said...

I think you should submit this to WW. Hilarious! Sorry you got cut though. Ouch:(

Anonymous said...

I'm down with that!

Janie K. Peterson said...

Okay, I am so LOL! Just catching up on all my blogs and the title of this one caught my attention since I have been weighing in at WW weekly for 8 months! I can so relate not only to the WW side of this but to the calamity in the kitchen! Good News for me is that I met my WW Goal and made lifetime yesterday! HANG IN THERE MARTHA!

Mo said...

Janie - Congrats on making your goal!! That's awesome!! Miss seeing you on Facebook - hope all is well!! :) M